Self talk

I’ve done it for years, and I have noticed others too. Self talk, the gentle encouragement, or the talking of oneself off a ledge, so important a coping tool for depression sufferers and those with anxiety.

It’s usually done silently for fear of being discovered by those around us. We fear being judged or avoided for being a nutbag. Today I view self talk as a sign of great strength. I was asked on social media, “What’s something you miss from childhood?” and I was surprised to learn by reading the first few responses that there were people who had nothing good to say about their formative years. One person had been adopted, another abused, both potentially severe traumas for young people. I miss most the encouraging words I received from my folks, my sisters, my teachers, and friends. I think that gift of encouragement in the form of talking me through challenges, led me to the practice of tapping into my inner messages. These are the most private messages sent to yourself when stressed or faced with some important task.

“What the hell have you done?”

“What gave you the idea you could do this?”

“Nobody knows how really scared I am right now..”

All of these types of messages, the self talk in our own heads, have to pass through your ear gate. In his book “Attitude is Everything,” Keith Harrell defines your ear gate as the source of entry of power or the lack of self esteem that people encounter throughout their waking life. I had the great pleasure of seeing Harrell speak at a seminar for professional skills trainers sponsored by AchieveGlobal. Harrell was one of the most dynamic motivational speakers I have ever encountered. He took his audience through a range of emotions, at times bringing us to tears with the power and truth of his message. I’ve hyperlinked his Vimeo story in case you need a lift in your day. It’s about 17 minutes long, but worth every second of your time investment, and it explains the importance of guarding your psyche from negative messages that we may let past our ear gates.

Self talk has helped me to dig myself out of a very deep and lasting depressive episode in my last 4 years. I’m now getting ready to re-enter the workforce and I am using self talk to help me regain the great confidence and love for public speaking I once enjoyed. Please give your impression of the value of self talk, and also your thoughts about one of my favorite people, Keith Douglas Harrell.

Journaling

It’s your life, how much do you know about it?  In your latter years will you think back on what must have been your golden era and wonder how you filled your days?  What were your priorities?  Who was important in your life past, and what about those thoughts that occupied your waking mind?

Journaling has been a therapeutic outlet for depression sufferers since the 1960s because the written word, the expression of those ideas that may not have fully formed, when penned to paper they take shape and are memorialized for your own thought, reflection, and action planning.  Journals have been steamy diaries, the hiding places where secret wishes, unexpressed passions, and the final resting place for the “if only” bucket list of a phase of life is waiting.

Today it seems with social media, modern day people are much more visible to the cosmos, expressing snippets of thoughts, favorite memes, or whole diatribes about injustices, rants, and opinions.  The blog, a view into the life of the author, is like a personal FaceBook journal, a place where your cordoned off piece of the internet is like a comfortable kitchen space or perhaps a man cave in the home.  The artwork, the furniture, all reflecting the tastes of the author, but formatted expressly to be seen, evaluated, and publicized for sharing with others.

Sharing for mental health

I began blogging a month ago like someone begins a road trip with just the idea of heading south, or west.  No GPS, timeline, no schedule, just the idea I’d like to go somewhere, and I don’t feel like going by myself.  With the driving idea that I had a message to share about near death, walking dead depression, I felt as though some of my experience might map or resonate with others.  The altruistic hope was to prevent other people from losing their grasp with natural gifts like sleep, the emotional unavailability for family, and functional sanity, things I have lost sight of periodically over the past 10 years. Nobility is not my best quality, but as I explained in a former post, it turns out that humans are wired to be social, and to care about others.   I share for mental health reasons, both for my own and for others to evaluate, possibly enjoy, or maybe to ponder.

I wonder how many people glance at these entries do have some thoughts, but end up stifling their urge to offer an opinion.  Missed opportunities, the chance to form a bond, receive feedback, or to see another person’s perspective are priceless compensation for a blogger.  Assessing one’s potential value, or in business terms “final results” of your cordoned off piece of the cosmos is important and provides meaning or purpose.

I would enjoy having some connection to those of you making the journey with similar or even complementary experiences to those I’ve shared with you here. If you have comments, an idea, a perspective, affirming or constructive, please do share it.  Imagine how good you’ll feel enriching the understanding of others, and putting your mark on what could turn out to be an original work of art.